My dad once bet me that by the time I got home I wouldn’t remember the number...– Karl Pilkington. The Further Adventures Of An Idiot Abroad. 2012. (via conversational-wizard)
If Moth’s had eyes would they be happier? How do they know they’re not dead?...– A poem by Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Show - Season 2, episode 5)
Had lunch inside today due to shite weather - sat next to an old fella. Old...– Karl Pilkington (via bradisangry)
Karl: Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage.
Ricky Gervais: if you're an old man on a bench, and a young kid came up to you, and he went like this, [as kid] "Sir, you look like a wise man. What have you learned? What could you tell me to make my life easier?"
Karl Pilkington: [long pause] Do I know this kid?
Ricky Gervais: No, no.
Karl Pilkington: Uh...
Ricky Gervais: [as kid] I've got school in a minute...
Karl Pilkington: I'd just say, uh, I'd say, "Don't go to Russia. It's horrible."
lostismyconstant: Lookit what I found! Totally legit and not-at-all-photoshopped-by-me photo of Simon, Nick, and Edgar’s sleepover!: OMG so real wow
skinnygaykid: dispopular: skinnygaykid: dispopular: if i was a cute skinny gay boy my posts would get notes are you talking about me who the fuck are you im getting you notes
that-spook-from-london: foodtrucker: the invention of the shovel was ground breaking but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.